What Psychodynamic Counselling Is — And What It Isn’t
Psychodynamic counselling can sound abstract or even intimidating — but at its core, it’s a deeply human, relational process. This blog explores what psychodynamic counselling really involves, what it’s not, and how it can support meaningful emotional change.
Introduction
When people hear the word "psychodynamic," they often imagine lying on a couch talking endlessly about their childhood, or being analysed in silence by a distant therapist. In reality, psychodynamic counselling is much more collaborative, grounded, and personal than those stereotypes suggest. It’s a way of making sense of the deeper emotional patterns that shape how we relate to ourselves and others — often outside of our awareness.
It’s not about blame. It’s not about staying stuck in the past. It’s about understanding how our early experiences have shaped our inner world — and gently exploring how those patterns might still be influencing our present.
What Psychodynamic Counselling Is
At its heart, psychodynamic counselling is about relationship — both the relationships we've had in the past and the relationship that forms between counsellor and client. The therapeutic space becomes a place where unconscious patterns can start to come into focus.
It involves:
Looking beneath the surface: exploring what might be driving your feelings, behaviours, or recurring difficulties.
Making connections between past and present: understanding how early experiences shape current patterns.
Exploring defences: recognising the ways we protect ourselves emotionally — and when those protections might no longer be serving us.
Using the therapeutic relationship as a mirror: noticing how patterns may emerge in the counselling space itself.
Psychodynamic counselling isn’t about giving advice or quick fixes. It’s about creating space to reflect, feel, and gain insight — with the hope that this insight brings more freedom and choice.
What It Isn’t Psychodynamic counselling isn’t:
A one-sided analysis: You don’t need to worry about being “interpreted” at every turn. It’s a collaborative process.
Just about childhood: While early experiences are explored, the focus is always on how they relate to your current emotional life.
Passive or detached: You won’t be left to figure things out alone. The relationship with your counsellor is an active part of the work.
It’s also not a quick fix - meaningful emotional change takes time. But for many, it’s a deeply transformative process.
2. Needing Constant Reassurance
Have you ever felt anxious or unsettled when you haven’t heard back from your partner? Even if you tell yourself they’re just at work, or out with friends, your mind might race: Did I say something wrong? Are they ignoring me? Are they going to leave me? You might double text or keep checking your phone, feeling panicked over a delay that doesn’t seem to bother anyone else. This isn’t just “overthinking” -it’s your anxious attachment being activated. It can feel draining and even embarrassing, but it often stems from early experiences where emotional connection felt uncertain or easily lost.
Who it Can Help
Psychodynamic counselling can be helpful for anyone who feels stuck in familiar emotional patterns - whether in relationships, work, self-worth, or anxiety. If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, "I know this doesn’t make sense, but I keep doing it," or "I don’t understand why I react this way," this kind of therapy can help you explore the emotional logic beneath the surface.
Conclusion
Psychodynamic counselling offers a space to slow down, reflect, and get to know yourself on a deeper level. It’s not always easy, but it can lead to profound change - not just in how you feel, but in how you relate to yourself and others.