How the Inner Critic Influences Us at Work

Many of us are kind and capable in the outside world — yet silently harsh and unforgiving toward ourselves. This blog explores how that inner critical voice takes root, and how we can begin to understand and soften it through psychodynamic counselling.

Introduction

Do you ever find yourself second-guessing your decisions, downplaying your success, or feeling like a fraud in professional settings - even when there’s evidence you’re doing well? That quiet, harsh voice that says “You’re not good enough,” or “You’ll be found out,” is often referred to as the inner critic. It can feel like it comes from within, but in psychodynamic counselling, we explore where that voice actually began - and how it’s often rooted in early emotional experiences.

Where the Inner Critic Begins

The inner critic doesn’t just appear out of nowhere. Often, it’s shaped in childhood - born out of moments where we felt shamed, judged, or emotionally unsafe. If love or approval was conditional on performance, being “good,” or hiding certain feelings, we may have internalised those expectations as part of our identity. Over time, these external voices become internal - and by adulthood, they sound like our own thoughts.

Children are incredibly perceptive. Even subtle experiences - like a parent who frowned at tears, teachers who only praised perfect work, or comparisons to a sibling - can leave lasting impressions. We learn: I must not make mistakes, I must always please, or my value depends on how others see me. These beliefs often get carried into our adult roles - especially in high-performing or emotionally demanding careers.

Everyday Examples of the Inner Critic in Action

Feeling Like a Fraud

Ever get praised for your work and immediately feel uncomfortable? Maybe you think, they clearly don’t know the real me, or it was just luck. This is classic imposter syndrome - often linked to an inner critic formed in environments where achievements were never enough, or where mistakes were met with criticism rather than support.

Overworking to Feel “Enough”

Do you feel unable to rest, even after a productive day? Many professionals find themselves constantly chasing the next goal, driven by a quiet fear of not being good enough. If love or attention in childhood came with strings attached - like being the achiever or the caretaker - that drive can become internalised as pressure to always do more.

Apologising for Having Needs

Do you hesitate to ask for support, or apologise when expressing something you’re struggling with? You might worry that needing help makes you a burden, or that others will think less of you. This can stem from early messages (spoken or unspoken) that emotions or vulnerability weren’t welcome - and now, your inner critic tells you to keep quiet, stay composed, and cope alone.

Conclusion

The inner critic can feel like it’s part of who we are - but it’s often a reflection of early experiences we’ve never had space to explore.

Psychodynamic counselling provides a space to slow down and listen to that critical voice with curiosity. Together, we begin to understand where it came from, how it once tried to protect us, and how it's still shaping our sense of self. With time, insight, and compassion, the grip of the inner critic can loosen — not through force, but through understanding.

By exploring the origins of shame, fear, and self-judgement, we begin to relate to ourselves differently. That quiet inner voice becomes a little softer, a little kinder — and much less in charge.

If something in this blog resonated with you, you’re not alone. Counselling offers a space to explore what’s beneath the surface — with curiosity, not judgment.

You’re welcome to get in touch with me to find out more.